I'm being treated like a lackey by some assholes at work. Look out.
Friday, June 29, 2001
For the fashion-conscious amoungst my readers, I recommend geekt.org. My personal favorite is the irreverent section.
By the way, I've given up Coke for Lipton Brisk Iced Tea.
By the way, I've given up Coke for Lipton Brisk Iced Tea.
Alright, folks, the weekend is coming, but I have some homework for you. Get a piece of paper and a pen, and place them on the table by your bed. Put them where you normally put your glasses, or cel phone, or alarm clock. For the next week, you are going to write down the first thought that comes to your mind when you wake up. One sentence (or fragment) will do. I'll be collecting your homework next Friday. A special (secret) prize will be sent to you if you have the most amusing (or disturbing) entry. I'll share the entries (but not the names, to protect the innocent) afterwards.
C'mon, it'll be fun.
C'mon, it'll be fun.
Thursday, June 28, 2001
Enough tinkering. I guess my webpage is ready for unveiling. Looks like function wins out over design. Uncork the champagne! Let the balloons and streamers fly! Just don't waste all day poking around all the old stuff.
Thanks again, Grant, for hosting it.
Oh, crap - look at the time. I gotta get up for work in four and a half hours.
Thanks again, Grant, for hosting it.
Oh, crap - look at the time. I gotta get up for work in four and a half hours.
Wednesday, June 27, 2001
Monday, June 25, 2001
Studying for my Microsoft certification is going painfully slow. I hear confilicting stories from people regarding the usefulness of having them. Some people (recruiters included) are saying that industry experience dwarfs the importance of the MCSE. Still, I feel that having the qualification will lend some credibility to my claim to "know" the various flavors of Microsoft server products. I am just going to have to put my head down and get through a few exams.
---------------
In spite of how much I bitch and moan about my job, I have to admit that it *has* been a great place to learn (and make mistakes) as I hone my management skills. I'm learning the finer points of playing politics by observing and occasionally foraying into the escapades. I've wielded power over the vendors that holding the purchasing decision gives, and learned to benefit the company and myself from that power. I've developed the ability to deal with difficult and arrogant people - staff, coworkers and supervisors. I have even disciplined and fired - which is much harder than it sounds.
To me, firing is the action that results when an employee keeps passing all the "Turn Back Now" signs in the middle of their path. The times that I have fired someone (there have been two) have been hard for me, as I wondered how these dumb-dumbs could not have seen the warnings and taken heed. I remember beating myself up for each person that I had to let go, wondering if I had given enough clear signs and/or benefit of the doubt. In retrospect, I now realize that each one of those I fired had (presumably) known what they were doing and, consciously or not, chosen the consequence that awaited them. From my viewpoint, they all ended up better for leaving my employment. I've even had one employee arrested and charged with a felony.
All of these lessons pale in comparison to my experience at one job I had that most would consider to be the the ultimate of a non-stressful job - standing around on deck as a lifeguard at an indoor pool. As lifeguards, we would sometimes joke about it being a boring day because nobody died. Then one day, someone did.
An elderly man was swimming during a typically quiet lane swim, along with about fifteen other people. This senior citizen who came infrequently to the pool was swimming lengths when, without a sound or warning, he sank to the bottom in the middle of his swimming his length. The lifeguard on duty (a mother of two teanage boys) saw him sink, sensed something was wrong and dove in after him. She brought him to the surface and called to the other guard (who from the office had heard the whistle blast and the splash of her dive) that she had a "major". The other guard went in to assist, while he called for one of the instructors (an eighteen-year-old university student who worked 8 hours a week) to clear the remaining patrons into the changerooms and lock the doors.
The two guards hauled his limp body out of the pool and onto the pool deck, careful to cradle his head from hitting the hard-tiled deck and cause further injury. The second guard told the instructor to call for an ambulance and inform them that they had a non-breathing, pulseless victim. The first guard began doing chest compressions while the other started doing rescue breathing. The chest compressions caused the man to vomit all over the second guard, who had knelt beside his head. They rolled him onto his side, cleared his airway, rolled him back and continued with compressions and artifical respiration. The two guards worked on the man for seventeen-and-a-half minutes while they waited for the ambulance to arrive. They never switched places as they were told in training that they should do - the adrenaline kept them going, counting out loud rhythmically - five compressions, one breath, marking each minute when they reached sixty compressions by starting count again. When the paramedics came, they took over the compressions and ventilations, but they seemed to know that this man's time had come. They, nor the lifeguards, could pronounce the man dead so they continued their work all the way to the hospital.
There wasn't an inquest into the incident at the pool - the coroner's autopsy clearly identified it as a massive heart attack, meaning his heart stopped sending any signal to beat altogether, and that he was most likely dead before he sank to the bottom. No amount of diligence could have saved this man when his heart quit beating and refused (through all of the efforts) to start again. Knowing this would not have made me feel any better as I stood in the shower, all of 22 years, crying and shaking as the hot water rinsed the vomit from my guard uniform and legs, into the floor drain.
That, gentle reader, is where the high bar is set for a bad day at work.
---------------
In spite of how much I bitch and moan about my job, I have to admit that it *has* been a great place to learn (and make mistakes) as I hone my management skills. I'm learning the finer points of playing politics by observing and occasionally foraying into the escapades. I've wielded power over the vendors that holding the purchasing decision gives, and learned to benefit the company and myself from that power. I've developed the ability to deal with difficult and arrogant people - staff, coworkers and supervisors. I have even disciplined and fired - which is much harder than it sounds.
To me, firing is the action that results when an employee keeps passing all the "Turn Back Now" signs in the middle of their path. The times that I have fired someone (there have been two) have been hard for me, as I wondered how these dumb-dumbs could not have seen the warnings and taken heed. I remember beating myself up for each person that I had to let go, wondering if I had given enough clear signs and/or benefit of the doubt. In retrospect, I now realize that each one of those I fired had (presumably) known what they were doing and, consciously or not, chosen the consequence that awaited them. From my viewpoint, they all ended up better for leaving my employment. I've even had one employee arrested and charged with a felony.
All of these lessons pale in comparison to my experience at one job I had that most would consider to be the the ultimate of a non-stressful job - standing around on deck as a lifeguard at an indoor pool. As lifeguards, we would sometimes joke about it being a boring day because nobody died. Then one day, someone did.
An elderly man was swimming during a typically quiet lane swim, along with about fifteen other people. This senior citizen who came infrequently to the pool was swimming lengths when, without a sound or warning, he sank to the bottom in the middle of his swimming his length. The lifeguard on duty (a mother of two teanage boys) saw him sink, sensed something was wrong and dove in after him. She brought him to the surface and called to the other guard (who from the office had heard the whistle blast and the splash of her dive) that she had a "major". The other guard went in to assist, while he called for one of the instructors (an eighteen-year-old university student who worked 8 hours a week) to clear the remaining patrons into the changerooms and lock the doors.
The two guards hauled his limp body out of the pool and onto the pool deck, careful to cradle his head from hitting the hard-tiled deck and cause further injury. The second guard told the instructor to call for an ambulance and inform them that they had a non-breathing, pulseless victim. The first guard began doing chest compressions while the other started doing rescue breathing. The chest compressions caused the man to vomit all over the second guard, who had knelt beside his head. They rolled him onto his side, cleared his airway, rolled him back and continued with compressions and artifical respiration. The two guards worked on the man for seventeen-and-a-half minutes while they waited for the ambulance to arrive. They never switched places as they were told in training that they should do - the adrenaline kept them going, counting out loud rhythmically - five compressions, one breath, marking each minute when they reached sixty compressions by starting count again. When the paramedics came, they took over the compressions and ventilations, but they seemed to know that this man's time had come. They, nor the lifeguards, could pronounce the man dead so they continued their work all the way to the hospital.
There wasn't an inquest into the incident at the pool - the coroner's autopsy clearly identified it as a massive heart attack, meaning his heart stopped sending any signal to beat altogether, and that he was most likely dead before he sank to the bottom. No amount of diligence could have saved this man when his heart quit beating and refused (through all of the efforts) to start again. Knowing this would not have made me feel any better as I stood in the shower, all of 22 years, crying and shaking as the hot water rinsed the vomit from my guard uniform and legs, into the floor drain.
That, gentle reader, is where the high bar is set for a bad day at work.
Friday, June 22, 2001
I'm down in Seattle right now at the corporate headquarters and there isn't a rickshaw in sight. I could dominate the market. :-)
On the plane ride to Seattle I ran into an old friend from my lifeguarding days in Edmonton. Very little seems to have changed in that world. It was nice to see her and talk about some of our mutual friends, but it seems like a whole different life to what I am living now. Talk of unions, long term time put in at pools (10 -15 years), disciplinary procedures and seniority lists. Whew, am I ever glad to be past al that stuff.
I headed back to the hotel last night and crashed for over 12 hours - I had no idea how tired I was.
On the plane ride to Seattle I ran into an old friend from my lifeguarding days in Edmonton. Very little seems to have changed in that world. It was nice to see her and talk about some of our mutual friends, but it seems like a whole different life to what I am living now. Talk of unions, long term time put in at pools (10 -15 years), disciplinary procedures and seniority lists. Whew, am I ever glad to be past al that stuff.
I headed back to the hotel last night and crashed for over 12 hours - I had no idea how tired I was.
Wednesday, June 20, 2001
I am giving more thought to this rickshaw idea. I was originally thinking of the handheld rickshaw, but I've only seen the bicycle-style rickshaws for sale.
If I had a bicycle rickshaw, I would have to worry about repairs, possible accidents, licensing (if I'm going to be on the road), ...
The handheld model sounds easier, but there is the problem of user safety. What if I trip and the handle nosedives? The passengers are going to go flying out onto their faces. Also, if I have three hundred and fifty pounds of meat (which isn't unreasonable for two adults) in the back plus 80 pounds of rickshaw going down a hill, how do I stop it? Is there a handbrake?This is getting more and more complicated. I just want to wear one of those ricefield worker hats.
Monday, June 18, 2001
Saturday, June 16, 2001
Tuesday, June 12, 2001
Yet Another Inexplicable Dream:
I am hand washing my truck (an old early '70s style chevrolet 1/2 ton) even though I don't own this truck, when suddenly I am pelted by water and the rotating brushes of an automatic car wash. Covered with foam and soaking wet, I leave the carwash bay through a industrial-type glass door. The door leads to a shop that has old lady-type knick-knacks; book ends, candles and candleholders, simmering potourri dishes, outgraously priced stuffed animals and the like. I start to browse through this stuff and suddenly I am showing stuff to Bob, a generously-sized friendly from work. I am unfazed by his instant appearance as my co-shopper and I am having a great time, showing him items that I think are humorously impractical.
The two of us continue shopping, going deeper into the store, when the stuff we start looking at gets more bizarre. We find moose antlers and stuffed animal heads, racks and racks of ugly suits, industrial-sized cooking and baking equipment and then gradually, the whole shop turns into a big Value Village-quality store. Somehow, we both find neat things to buy (I have a 30 inch wide floor polisher), then head for the checkout. Next thing I know, I'm woken up by a phone call from a coworker.
------------
By the way, I didn't get the job at the oil company.
Just as well, as I *had* promised to stay on at ByeWire until the end of March of 2002. Things are already getting wierd as people get closer to their end dates. Tempers are a little bit shorter, outlooks a bit gloomier, and the Seattle folks seem a bit more distant. A lot of grief is still bottled up inside people and it is manifesting itself in some very unusual ways. The true leaders of this place are making themselves known, and I am realizing more and more that my allegiance is to the people that make up this business, not the business itself.
I am hand washing my truck (an old early '70s style chevrolet 1/2 ton) even though I don't own this truck, when suddenly I am pelted by water and the rotating brushes of an automatic car wash. Covered with foam and soaking wet, I leave the carwash bay through a industrial-type glass door. The door leads to a shop that has old lady-type knick-knacks; book ends, candles and candleholders, simmering potourri dishes, outgraously priced stuffed animals and the like. I start to browse through this stuff and suddenly I am showing stuff to Bob, a generously-sized friendly from work. I am unfazed by his instant appearance as my co-shopper and I am having a great time, showing him items that I think are humorously impractical.
The two of us continue shopping, going deeper into the store, when the stuff we start looking at gets more bizarre. We find moose antlers and stuffed animal heads, racks and racks of ugly suits, industrial-sized cooking and baking equipment and then gradually, the whole shop turns into a big Value Village-quality store. Somehow, we both find neat things to buy (I have a 30 inch wide floor polisher), then head for the checkout. Next thing I know, I'm woken up by a phone call from a coworker.
------------
By the way, I didn't get the job at the oil company.
Just as well, as I *had* promised to stay on at ByeWire until the end of March of 2002. Things are already getting wierd as people get closer to their end dates. Tempers are a little bit shorter, outlooks a bit gloomier, and the Seattle folks seem a bit more distant. A lot of grief is still bottled up inside people and it is manifesting itself in some very unusual ways. The true leaders of this place are making themselves known, and I am realizing more and more that my allegiance is to the people that make up this business, not the business itself.
Monday, June 11, 2001
Well, the birthday is done, and I'm now thirty-six. I prefer to spend my birthday in reflection on the past year, what changes have happened to me, where I am now, what I want to do from here, etc.. There was no time for reflection on Saturday and this year it could have been the most helpful. As usual, my weekend whooshed by with its laundry list of child activities, parental obligations, household chores and the like. I had *very* little time to be introspective or reflective. Maybe next weekend will hold a bit of solitude.
I feel generally weirded out this year - disoriented, old, unsure of my physical self, unsure of my career identity, that sort of stuff. Some of my birthday willies come from the knowledge that I am losing my job in nine-and-a-half short months. I have many different ideas rolling around in my head about what to do next. Taking some time off sounds inviting, as does persuing a teaching career. I really like working with creative and design types, but I don't think that there is enough of a call in that field for someone with my skills. The tech industry does pay awfully well - if I were to continue on here for six or seven more years, I might be well enough off to not need to consider compensation for the work I do. Six or seven years is a long time, though. Am I willing to get into something I potentially don't enjoy (few new places are as fun as where I just came from), just to get the money up front? I just don't know.
Another idea that I had (and don't laugh) - I am considering tracking down a rickshaw and hauling people around all through Stampede next summer. Does that sound crazy or not?
Here's the song that's the poignant soundtrack to what little Sean Time I've had this weekend.
Once in a Lifetime
And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself - Well...How did I get here?
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Water dissolving...and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean!
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right?...Am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
MY GOD!...WHAT HAVE I DONE?
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
- (c) David Byrne, 1980
I'm reading an excellent book called Ancient Wisdom, Modern World that discusses ethics and morals for the twenty-first century. The author, the Dalai Lama, is pulling on his experiences from his fifty years of observing the world outside Tibet (he became a refugee shortly after the Chinese took over Tibet in the 1950's) and speaking mainly to those of us living in the western culture. The main focus of the book is how he feels we can work toward happiness (which he feels is the basis of ALL religion and spiritual pursuits) through being more mindful of others. I quite like how he differentiated spirituality (which he feels we need to pursue more) from religion (which he feels we don't necessarily need). He seems to have a good sense of self and points out his own prejudices.
It's pretty deep subject matter, but it fascinates me.
I feel generally weirded out this year - disoriented, old, unsure of my physical self, unsure of my career identity, that sort of stuff. Some of my birthday willies come from the knowledge that I am losing my job in nine-and-a-half short months. I have many different ideas rolling around in my head about what to do next. Taking some time off sounds inviting, as does persuing a teaching career. I really like working with creative and design types, but I don't think that there is enough of a call in that field for someone with my skills. The tech industry does pay awfully well - if I were to continue on here for six or seven more years, I might be well enough off to not need to consider compensation for the work I do. Six or seven years is a long time, though. Am I willing to get into something I potentially don't enjoy (few new places are as fun as where I just came from), just to get the money up front? I just don't know.
Another idea that I had (and don't laugh) - I am considering tracking down a rickshaw and hauling people around all through Stampede next summer. Does that sound crazy or not?
Here's the song that's the poignant soundtrack to what little Sean Time I've had this weekend.
Once in a Lifetime
And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself - Well...How did I get here?
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Water dissolving...and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean!
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right?...Am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
MY GOD!...WHAT HAVE I DONE?
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
- (c) David Byrne, 1980
I'm reading an excellent book called Ancient Wisdom, Modern World that discusses ethics and morals for the twenty-first century. The author, the Dalai Lama, is pulling on his experiences from his fifty years of observing the world outside Tibet (he became a refugee shortly after the Chinese took over Tibet in the 1950's) and speaking mainly to those of us living in the western culture. The main focus of the book is how he feels we can work toward happiness (which he feels is the basis of ALL religion and spiritual pursuits) through being more mindful of others. I quite like how he differentiated spirituality (which he feels we need to pursue more) from religion (which he feels we don't necessarily need). He seems to have a good sense of self and points out his own prejudices.
It's pretty deep subject matter, but it fascinates me.
Thursday, June 07, 2001
We are into the wee hours of the morning, and the chili for tomorrow's Chili Cookoff is happily bubbling away in the crock pot. I'm trying a new habanero sauce called Fear Itself. It seems pretty powerful, which is good. I pity da foo' dat eat ma chili.
Tuesday, June 05, 2001
When all else fails, reward employees with food pellets - it is suprisingly effective.
I'll be damned if Skinner wasn't right.
I'll be damned if Skinner wasn't right.
Friday, June 01, 2001
My Windows 2000 class is going really well. Microsoft seems to have done a good job of making their operating system do, well, just about everything. They have built in all of the things that you used to have to buy afterward and bolt onto their servers: web, DHCP, DNS, IPSEC, routing capability, all that stuff. It all behaves, each part talking nicely to the other parts. Mind you, it was *just* in the classroom, but I plan on getting conversant and comfortable with this new system, as it will (no doubt) become ubiquitous in our industry.
The most enjoyable part of the class is speaking with the other students and finding out what cool things they are doing and what tools they are using. Also, the discussions are intelligent and come from a similar set of experiences to my own but not so similar that they produce the same trains of thought. We bashed Microsoft for it's problem-ridden software, but at the same time, acknowledged that it was good to know of the problems and have so many others actively looking for them, too. We bemoaned users and their unrealistic demands, their quirky problems, and their sometimes poor grasp on logic and naivete.
Today someone started a "Do you remember when ..." discussion. We reminisced about the Beagle Brothers, Castle Wolfenstein, the Commodore 1541 disk drive and the 5 1/4 floppies (double sided, double density, you know), Pong, Sinclair computers with their horrible keyboards, our own "first" machines and stories of how we first got hooked into the profession of computer tinkering. We even got into bashing those who are now entering the milk-and-honey field of technology because of the seemingly endless jobs. Some are becoming certified without fully grasping the troubleshooting fundamentals. We shared horror stories of people coming out of school with no grasp of how all the pieces of components, operating systems, applications, networks, protocols and the Internet fit together. It's like having a whole Scrabble game in front of you and knowing how to spell all the words, but not being able to build a sentence.
Hurumph. Kids these days.
The most enjoyable part of the class is speaking with the other students and finding out what cool things they are doing and what tools they are using. Also, the discussions are intelligent and come from a similar set of experiences to my own but not so similar that they produce the same trains of thought. We bashed Microsoft for it's problem-ridden software, but at the same time, acknowledged that it was good to know of the problems and have so many others actively looking for them, too. We bemoaned users and their unrealistic demands, their quirky problems, and their sometimes poor grasp on logic and naivete.
Today someone started a "Do you remember when ..." discussion. We reminisced about the Beagle Brothers, Castle Wolfenstein, the Commodore 1541 disk drive and the 5 1/4 floppies (double sided, double density, you know), Pong, Sinclair computers with their horrible keyboards, our own "first" machines and stories of how we first got hooked into the profession of computer tinkering. We even got into bashing those who are now entering the milk-and-honey field of technology because of the seemingly endless jobs. Some are becoming certified without fully grasping the troubleshooting fundamentals. We shared horror stories of people coming out of school with no grasp of how all the pieces of components, operating systems, applications, networks, protocols and the Internet fit together. It's like having a whole Scrabble game in front of you and knowing how to spell all the words, but not being able to build a sentence.
Hurumph. Kids these days.