Tabitha, this could have been you.

I'm a scanning slave today.

I promised to put together a collage of photos for my mother-in-law's 80th birthday party. Word got out that I was doing something on the computer (I'd planned to do up a something with iMovie) and now the hype for the presentation has inflated it to far outstrip what I had intended. The actual event is drawing closer (two weekends away) so I have to get something together.

Oops. That's six Girl Guide cookies today. Good thing I went swimming last night.

Must watch that figure, you know.

For all my mac buddies (and you know who you are), I found a good cartoon series.

I'm sure you'll find it fulfilling (sorry).

By the way, I'm grooving to the Gipsy King's rendition of A Mi Manera (My Way).

I'm the stuff that legends are made out of.

The pilgrimage to my house must be a hallowed thing. I can imagine the scene ... three young girls, cheeks rosy from the crisp, spring evening as they stroll along the still-snowy sidewalk. They turn down Charlebois Drive and the eldest of the three tends to walk a bit quicker, then abruptly stops at the end of a particular sidewalk and turns towards the house.

"This is the place - the funny-green one. I went up last year with a half a case. He took them all ... THEN he sent me for more!"

The two others look at her, not quite sure if this is some sort of initiation prank. The eldest one stands with a dreamy, far-away look in her eyes. After a moment, she shakes her head to banish the tantalizing image from previous years of twenty-dollar bills hastily thrust into her hands and starts up the walkway. As she approaches the steps, she asks the others, "Do you want to go first?"

The youngest, a freckle-faced 8 year-old says in an innocent voice, "Sure. I'll try first."

She lightly trips up the stairs with her cardboard box in hand and pecks at the doorbell with her finger. As she waits for the foretold response, she straightens her beret and sash. The door opens and she sees the man's face light up in the same way that her own did on Christmas morning, when she came down from her bedroom to see the pile of brightly-colored presents under the tree. Now was the time for her to recite her carefully practiced (but totally unnecessary) line.

"Hello sir. Would you like to buy a box of Girl Guide Cookies?"



Box? BOX?" I said, trying not to drool on the poor kid. "How many CASES you got?"

I am thwarted again from riding my bike. A snowstorm snuck up on me in the late morning.

Drats.

Spring has sprung,
The grass has riz,
I wonder where
my bike pump is.

After two false starts (six broken spokes and 5 inches of snow), I think it's time to start commuting to work. My trusty Univega is primed and ready, I have all the gear and the outfit, so this afternoon I take to the roads.

Try not to splash when you drive past.

Clients can be frustrating. I love them when they hand me the cheque. I like them when I solve their problems. Sometimes, though, they can be challenging. Here's a true (although paraphrased) conversation.

Client: Hey, you remember that part that you told me not to buy because it was crappy?
Sean: (with trepidation in his voice) Y-y-y-yes?
Client: Well, I bought one because the salesman said I wouldn't have any problems with it. I tried to make it work and can't. Here you go (handing it to me).
Sean: Do you want me to return it?
Client: No, no, silly. Can you attach it to the corporate network?
Sean: The one that you've tasked me with keeping secure and fully functioning?
Client: Yes. When can I start using my new goody?
Sean: (sigh) I'll get right on it.

Geek and Company is gathering steam. Yet another client that wants computers and a network.

Whoo hoo!

One thing I hadn't counted on when I started Geek and Company - dealing with Joe Homebody's hardware is like being the doctor at a hospice. Often, people don't like hearing that their Solitaire and Web surfing machine is going to cost $300 to get it humming again.

True Tales from the Office (but not my office, thank goodness)

New on the job, You make a presentation to a group of coworkers. One of them compliments you and asks if you could add your information to their department manual. They show you the printed version and it looks like a hefty tome, well over one hundred pages. Wanting to score some points with your new boss and your coworkers, you agree and ask them to send you the electronic document so you can add your stuff.

Later that afternoon, the document arrives via e-mail. The door to the office is closed so your colleagues do not hear the muffled sobs as you look at the attachment.

The document, over 120 pages, complete with a table of contents, is in PowerPoint.

There is no god.

I am going to bed now, dreading what Banana and McMonk have in store for me tomorrow. I'll be checking each shoe before I slip my toes in, tasting a bit of the sugar before putting it in my tea. You see, tomorrow (or probably today by the time you read this) is April Fool's Day. I haven't given any thought to what I will do to them or the nice folks at work, so I'll just have to improvise.

In the February 22nd edition of Report on Business, a salary survey calls tech support staff "... the human punching bags of high tech." How come I never saw that on the recruiting poster?

My kingdom for a spoke wrench.

I'm getting my mountain bike all tuned up for spring (and summer and fall) commuting. I was down at MEC today to buy a new set of fenders so that I could arrive at The Treehouse in style. As flexible and accepting as folks are there, I doubt whether the mud skunk stripe would go unnoticed.

Upon installing the fenders, I decided it would be a good time to check all the other things that need checking - tire pressure, chain tension, broken cog and chainring teeth, brakes - that's when I discovered that one spot on the back rim is rubbing quite badly on the right brake. If I could find my spoke wrench, I could take care of it toot sweet, but spoke wrenches are sort of like nail clippers: you remember buying them but you can't remember where you last had them.

Tuning my bike is a labour of love - a love that I've neglected for some time. I guess I'll go dig around in the shed. Wish me luck.

Update: I found my spoke wrench, but it turned out to be more serious than just needing a tightening - the spoke was broken off at the nipple.

I'm so proud of my buddies (almost all EyeWire flotsam and jetsam) at HealthTrack. Great website and catalog you guys put together in a short time.

You continue to amaze me.

I'm off for some lasertag fun.

Remember how I said life was going to get really busy? Well, it has.

Today I had a new, new client and set up a home office network for him. I felt I did a great job, explaining everything, educating him as to what I was doing (at his request). What a nice shot in the arm for Geek and Company.

I just got back from working another bingo for the community league. Due to an additional $2.50 tax, smokes have gone up to $10.43 a pack. Other than that, everything is still the same.

I need a shower.

McMonkey? Banana? The Torpedo?

Those of you who have not have been reading No Comment right from the get-go are probably not aware of the background of certain people who are regularly mentioned in the blog (or even have the slightest clue of how I know them). I have a question for you.

Should No Comment have a Cast List that discretely gives some background on those mentioned? Yes. Who the heck are all these people? No, we've got it all figured out.

Let me know before I go to all that work.

I have become accustomed - no - appreciative of the eccentricity of my friends. This weekend I spent two very different evenings. On Friday night, I enjoyed the company of past colleagues from the happy brick building where I used to work. It was a potluck dinner, where I was one of the most pedestrian of the chefs. Some of the dishes were vegetarian, some from different ethnic origins, and some were just outright inventive. The discussion topics ambled through travel destinations, changes in breast size when you are pregnant, middle-east cooking, authors I'd never heard of, the impact that blogging has had on the creativity of the great unwashed and the act of admiring musicians while playing down the fact that you're wearing a T-shirt with the musician's name and face on it. The time never flies by so fast as when I'm with these comrades.

Saturday evening was ... nice. We spent it in the company of a nice family that does ordinary things. We made pizza and watched a movie. They have well behaved and likeable kids. I didn't feel stretched. At all. Don't get me wrong - the evening was pleasant. It just didn't fill my soul like Friday did.

I love my friends.

My Saturday afternoon was spent at my first-in-a-long-time swim meet and it was just like old the old days. I had to help my small team of seven people take over a lane in the warm-up period; I watched some talented swimmers swim some great times; I played with a stopwatch to see how fast I could start and then stop the watch (0.04 seconds was my fastest); I sat around with a wet towel wrapped 'round my waist and a baggy team t-shirt on and cheered my teammates in their races; my mom and uncle came to watch; I swam three respectable times in my events and Jenn the Coach was impressed with my showing. What a trip.

It seems that I am not alone in my quest for my youthful past. I ran into three old buddies from my swim club days. We all had put on a few pounds (not swimming 30,000 metres a week will do that to you), one of us had lost some hair (I'm not telling who) and we were all glad to see each other. We weren't seventeen any more, but we could still do this.

I've been totally amused by embarrassing moments captured by bloggers. I think I need to start another list. Until I do, here's a few that I've come across.

If you're a girl (or if you like talking to or listening to 'em), I found a website where a group of them write. If you like chick blogs with lots of content, it's worth the trip.

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I gotta remember to give the rest of the gang at the treehouse a warning that I'm going to Nova Scotia at the end of August. We're going out to visit some of Jenn's University buddies and see the coast.

"So, Sean, it's three days before your first swim meet in 19 years. You just came from the last practice before the meet. How do you feel?"

In a word ... tired. It was a hard practice, but I think that my strokes are efficient and strong, turns and starts are good and I'm sure that the adrenalin will help me move when the gun goes off. There is one problem - Jenn (the wife, not the coach) has been baking lately. Bread, buns, pull-apart loaves and (my kryptonite) chocolate chip cookies. Goodies have been appearing faster than I can come up from the basement office and eat them. I'm doing my best to make room on the counter and cooling rack for the next baked delicacy, but somehow I think it's a losing battle. And these pants are definitely starting to feel tighter.

Anybody know how I can loose 20 pounds in the next three days WITHOUT surgery?

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I'm getting to be a bush-head, too. I think I'll get a haircut tomorrow.

Oh! Oh! Sony will soon be offering a new robot. It walks, it can respond to voice commands and questions, it can talk, it can carry things, and it's only two feet tall.

I could get it to walk my Aibo.

Thanks to my recent switch to Blogger Pro, I now have the ability to alter the blog post dates so it doesn't look like I'm staying up late.

I'll try and use my powers for good and not evil.

Gladness was had by many in the Collins Household over the past two days. Yesterday was Good Report Card Day for Banana and McMonk. Jenn aced a big, big presentation at work yesterday, proving to management that they did the Right Thing when they hired her. I attacked my "To Do" list, beating it back down below ten items. All around, it feels like the Collins family is running on all eight cylinders.

The weather is been terrible, though. We've had a cold, snowy March so far. Tomorrow is the first day of spring and we're still gripped by very un-spring-like temperatures ( -18c as a *high* today - brrrrr!). I'll be glad when it gets back to bike-riding weather again.

Tomorrow starts some infrastructure building at the Treehouse. I'm going to do hardcore planning regarding how the network will be set up and implementing some of those plans PDQ. I also had a look at some phone equipment that we may be making use of. Research and planning, research and planning ... I just can't get enough!

I've decided that small, private victories are much better than large public ones.

Go figure.

I just came back from swim practice. Every time I go to swim practice after missing one workout, I always berate myself for having missed the previous one. I felt sluggish in the water but good and tired afterwards.

I figured out how to use server-side includes today. Cool.