Wednesday, August 08, 2001
I am living in a city where all people are controlled by some dark, devil-like force. The only way that we (the citizens of this community) can free ourselves of this strange occupation is by collecting a certain series of bottlecap liners. However, drinking the drink contained in these bottles is the thing that keeps all of us under the spell of the evil, controlling force. I suddenly realize this and pretend to find the winning bottlecap liner. I am running through the streets shouting, "I found it, I found it!" and people everywhere stop consuming the "controlling" drink.
The residents have a big festival (with a midway and carnival-type rides) to celebrate the end of the controlling force, and I get on a log flume ride in between two very attractive women from work. We are joking around, enjoying ourselves and having a great time until the end of the ride, at which point we exit the car and go into separate changerooms, as if in a swimming pool. It turns out to be the big competition swimming pool where I spent a good portion of my youth (in Edmonton), and my brother-in-law is in the locker room. He accuses me of flirting with the women on the log flume ride, and I lay him out. Knocking him cold with just one punch was so satisfying (must be that testosterone thing) I deck another guy who comes up and tries to intervene.
As I'm leaving the locker room, some of the mentally challenged athletes are in the stands, and they start playfully splashing water at me. I ask them not to, and they agree only if I take them all to Dairy Queen for ice cream. I give in, so we all (about twenty of us) go out to the parking lot where a big yellow schoolbus is waiting for us. I start the bus up and pilot through the Edmonton river valley to the nearest Dairy Queen. As I'm pulling out of the parking lot, the dream changes to third person perspective, some sappy, heart-warming music starts to play and my view is looking down on the bus, and it starts to pull away, just like the crane shots at the end of a made-for-TV movie.
Hey, let me know if these are getting too bizarre for you.